The Simplifire

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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Double Duty Thank You

A guy just held the door for me. It wasn't early enough to be awkward. If someone holds the door and you're 15 steps away, it's just awkward, and you don't even want to say thank you, because chances are you just jogged to the door. It's almost like you're doing them a favor. They're in the mood to do something nice, and to help them, you jog.

BUT, it was early enough to warrant two thanks. It was just barely too late for the first thank you to be a half smile*. My face didn't have time to react, and trying to make eye contact and maintain in time to half smile* at that distance would have been embarrassing. So instead I said "thanks" two steps before reaching the actual doorway. And since he insisted on doing a really good job of holding it, that is, waiting till I was all the way through to let go, I thanked him a second time. Just as I passed through the doorway I said, "preciate it." I was too rushed to keep the "I a-".

I think it only needed one gesture of thanks, but it felt like too much silence. I mean, the guy obviously thought it out. It was on the brink of being too early to hold the door, and right in the 3-step gap where not holding the door would be excusable and holding it would be thoughtful. (Note: I was 2 steps before the final decision line, past which not holding the door would be rude.)

Anyway, whether or not it was required, I belive my response will encourage him to continue his thoughtfulness and ultimately, make the universe a better place.
Segue to the discussion point:If there are two doors in a row and you are following someone (this happens at a lot of restaurants), are you supposed to thank both times? If only once, when? Is too much thanking even meaningful at all, and if one is going to use multiple thanks, should they be different?

What if A holds door 1 for B. B passes A and holds door 2 for A. B obviously thanks A at door 1. Does A thank B at 2? Do they shake hands and show each other family pictures?

*half smile: The half smile is often performed in conjunction with a head nod. It signifies, I recognize your existance, and I may or may not care. In my opinion, recognizing is nicer than not. If done after someone holds the door for you, it can safely be interpreted as "thank you." It's not a real smile, and I believe it takes less than half the energy of a real smile. If a male gives another male, who is familiar but not on a conversational basis, a real smile he is either very gay or very happy. This is allowed, but I would feel awkward doing or receiving this.

If a male does the above while holding the door for another male, then replies to the second male's "thanks" with a emphatic "shhhuuurre!", he is either definitely very gay, definitely very strange, or definitely a cartoon character.

5 Comments:

  • At 11:15 AM, Blogger Chris Trumble said…

    i usually play it real coy when thanking. it's just how i do. the double door business is a toughie. i really dont have a definitive answer.
    also when your party of mixed sexes, is entering, say a restaraun with another party of similar makeup, who hold the door and does it change from exterior door inner door?! also is the purpose of the two door entrance solely to stop draft?

     
  • At 9:05 AM, Blogger Jason Zito said…

    I have oft pictured george castanza in this situation. he holds the first door for an attractive woman whom he hardly knows but might possibly like him and gets a "thanks" and then holds the second door and gets nothing. then he turns around to the woman and says, "what? are you too good for a second thanks?

    "excuse me?"

    "a second thanks. i held the first door for you and it was fiiiine and dandy. you were thrilled. ecstatic even. second door? I got nothin'.

    "So there are two options here. Either my second door-holding was inadequate in some way, in which case perhaps you could explain how I have offended you, or you are only polite half the time, in which case, I will probably want nothing to do with you anyway.

    "so i repeat my question. Are you too good for a second thanks?"

    And of course, as a result, she calls him something derogatory and stomps off, any possibly attraction completely extinguished.

    after this, he would go talk to jerry and elaine, at which point jerry would raise his eyebrows with recognition and say, "aahhhh the Second Thanks" and they would go on about the rules of door-holding and thanking. it would become another famous seinfeld phrase, akin to "regifting".


    in regard to seinfeld and catch phrases, I have a question thats been nagging me. on one of the early episodes, george double-dips, and of course a big deal is made out of it, and hilarity ensues. throughout the entire episode, though, the cast acts as if "double-dipping" is an entirely new concept. of course, the term is extremely common now. i cant help but wonder if seinfeld started it, though for some reason that seems hard to believe. maybe not...i wonder if anybody knows...

     
  • At 9:12 AM, Blogger Jason Zito said…

    ahh i got it. "double dipping" as a term has been around for a long time in reference to other things, and seinfeld used it in this unique way that made it funny, or (according to wikipedia) popularized it.

     
  • At 1:03 PM, Blogger shawn said…

    chris-I believe the purpose of the double door is to separate from the outside world. So it lessens draft, or severe weather of any kind, plus noise, and sunlight, to name a few. Some places have that area be a waiting area so that the eaters aren't sitting 5 feet away from 20 hungry people. And I think your door holding question is a bit easier to answer, because it's not like it's just two people exchanging thank-you's. I'd imagine every passer-through should thank the holder.

    jason-Thanks for the info. That is interesting. But I must say that if you really "oft picture" that, you might be a little obsessive. It sounds like you've rehearsed several times in your head. Why don't we just film our own version and you can put it to rest. closure.

     
  • At 7:43 AM, Blogger Jason Zito said…

    that was the first time ive actually thought it through to that detail...but whenever i come to a double-door thanks situation, i am reminded that it seems like something that could have happened in the series...

    yup.

     

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