The Simplifire

Where young professionals go to get paid to talk

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Dramatic People

I don't get along with dramatic people. I just figured it out. It's not that I don't like them or that they don't like me. And it doesn't mean I can't handle them as friends. But for some reason I just can't click with them the way I do with other people.

I can go through a list of all the people I don't "click" with and can find some level of dramaticism in most of them. Here are the different classes of these people, in no particular order or rank:
-Can talk to but prefer not to hang out with
-Can hang out with but prefer not to talk to
-Can talk and hang out, but with extra effort on my part
-Don't get/serious reaction to sarcasm
-Can't give or receive criticism without being extremely defensive or offensive
-Perfectly nice person, I just don't really have a desire to get closer

Now, I should say here, although this is such a cliche, that I am not without fault. And if someone who I consider dramatic could tell me some quality about myself which causes them not to click with me, I would be thrilled to find out!
Some philosopher said something, and since I don't remember the exact words (and since the exact words were probably greek or latin anyway), here is my version:
When someone criticizes you or points out your fault, respond by saying, "If you knew of my other faults, you wouldn't only point out this one!"

This seems to be similar to "heaping burning coals" on someone's head. My view: be comfortable with your own faults, but if you find something you think you should change, change it, and try not to always use defensive excuses.

I annoy myself sometimes, and I think everyone is annoyed with me sometimes (hopefully not all at once, I'm just saying we all have personality traits that clash with others'). I'm assuming everyone could find something annoying about themselves or about most other people. This isn't a bad thing, except I guess, if you're always gossiping and can't get past those characteristics. I mean, the people you love, everyone, including your same- and opposite- sex friends/relatives, have probably annoyed you at some [or several] time[s], but you love them--it's just part of them. That doesn't define them.

I used to worry more about being annoying, because who wants to be annoying? I guess now I'm comfortable with myself because let's face it, most of my characteristics are pretty much defined for life. I think what put my worrying to death is finding my wife. From the very beginning, I liked her a lot, and vice versa. And once you find out someone likes you like that, you know you can't be too bad.

As far as being annoying to friends, well, I guess the same is true. If you have any friends at all, you can't be too bad. And if they really want to pick on something annoying about me, well I can probably return the favor. But since we all know we're not perfect, we can all agree to call it even. Like Chandler and Monica.

Here is the food for my thought. See next post...


  • At 7:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I wonder if our characteristics really are defined for life or not. I think the tendancy is to stop embracing change eventually (which will probably happen in a few years for us), but I wonder if that tendancy can be resisted...

    Like can we avoid getting stuck in the past, stuck in ourselves, and actively attempt to embrace the flux of existing. Pain and change are rough when going through it, but if we can learn to accept these things and even enjoy them (if possible) maybe we will be more prone to continue changing our personalities for the better, or at least for the diverse.

    I am currently trying to be more outgoing with strangers, trying to learn to listen. At Dominos Pizza the other day, The guy at the counter said something about it being dead that day. Usually I would just say "yeah" or "really?" and kinda let the potential conversation die. But this time I pushed myself to ask him about it. We had a nice, though short, conversation about how sporting events affected pizza sales, how if the tigers had been playing that night, he would have sold a lot more pizza. It made me feel good to experience someone else's point of view for a few minutes, to understand the concerns of a pizza guy. it was a small thing, but a cool one.

  • At 8:17 AM, Blogger chris said…

    a really want a list of people we know and how annoying/not annoying you find them. it would be enlightening.

  • At 8:55 AM, Blogger tranchiturn said…

    That might be gossiping. Well, if you've ever seen me not get along with someone or have some sort of rift, then in MOST of the cases i could identify some sort of dramaticism. Some people who will never read this but belong on my list:
    Katie Smither-always got very defensive if i confronted her even jokingly. I'm still trying to decide if she's dramatic though...
    Nathan Faraday-he's one of those perfectly nice people, I just didn't click with him like i could with others (not that we didn't have good moments, i remember them well)

  • At 9:31 AM, Blogger chris said…

    i was just kidding mostly, but the real life examples of the other thread made it better.

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