Two (Gross) Bathroom Pet Peeves

1.) When there are obviously more open stalls but they choose the one next to you.

This isn't as bad at urinals because you're out of there pretty quickly, and the person next to you has less of a chance of smelling like crap. There are also people who get in the stall next to you, and then slam the door, slam the seat down. They're probably also the same people who let out an obnoxious sigh when they sit down, like they've been waiting a week for this moment.

2.) When people don't know how to wipe.

I know this is a gross discussion, but that's the point. I'm grossed out by it, so I need to find out if all of the world's middle aged men are equally gross. I probably don't notice the exceptions because usually the worse things are more memorable, but I swear, the majority of people I've heard wiping (at work) do this. wshawshawshawsha. That's right, they scrub. Now I guess if it was self-cleaning, it would be okay if you did that, maybe you just want to polish up the rear. BUT, the people who do this do it for several wipes! Now I'm a one swipe guy. Toilet paper is not expensive enough NOT to be. I just can't stand the thought, but can't help to think, what is going on when someone scrubs like that. Absolutely disgusting. Are they trying to work it back in or something? Where is it GOING? Are you disgusted yet? AHHH...maybe you're just disgusted, but I'm seriously pissed off. How do you confront this sort of thing.

As someone is coming into the stall next to me, I'm going to start saying, "Excuse me grossy, don't sit next to me. Neither of us want to smell each other, and if you want to smell me, then you should get it through your gross head that I might not want to smell you." Then when he finds a stall, I'll tell him to make sure he doesn't scrub his nastiness back into his skin.

Zygotic Prophecy

So, as everyone knows, Amy is pregnant, and this is exciting!

I have a cool story (a couple, in other words, the majority of the people who see this, have already heard this).

As thanksgiving dinner with Amy's side of the family was dying down, Amy says, "Let's go around and say what we're thankful for!" She gave everyone about one breath to process what she just said before chiming, "I'm pregnant!"

Alisha, the middle sister, and of course Amy and I, were the only people who knew. So it was strange when Ma said, "I know! Elaine told me!"

Mr. Clairmont is the pastor at a small, tight-knit church in Ovid, MI. Elaine is a member of the "prayer team." (Basically just a small group that people can call or talk to and they'll pray for you throughout the day, week, etc...) Apparently she was praying and God just told her. I'm not sure exactly how, but that's the story, and I think it's cool.

And no, no one leaked the info. Right away I asked if Amy or Alisha told Mandy, the oldest sister (since they would have told her before telling mom). They both said no. And Mandy verified this. And I'm pretty sure Ma wasn't making up the whole thing.

Oh, and also, Ma said, "She told me about 4 weeks ago." In other words, it was within a week of conception, and a few weeks before WE found out!

Neon Yellow Highlighters

Oh man, this is a highly important post.

Here's the question I lay out: Are yellow highlighters worth it?

For me, no. When you first use it, it's brilliant. Hard to believe that that color is an ink and not something more complicated. Then you come back and the outsides of the lines are getting dimmer, even brownish, at least in comparison to the original. The final product, at least after light exposure for a while, is a pale mustard color.

What good is the brightness if it doesn't stay that way? If it's going to fade, why not use a normal canary yellow marker made by crayola or something. The end result would be nicer. But we're trained to seek instant gratification.

It's hard NOT to in this society. Let me give an example. "I'm going to hold out on buying that computer since it will be outdated soon." Well that's always true, so you eventually have to get one. And if you want maximum satisfaction, then you need to want instant gratification when you get it brand new, and then gradually lower your expectations until the next time that you are reasonably ready to dish out the cash for a new one.

Let me give a breakdown of highlighter colors and the results after perhaps 3 months, with the lights on, or the page exposed, for 1 month of that time:
Pink: The most faded. So faint in some spots that I imagine it will disappear given enough time. None of it's original brilliance, but at least the final color is pretty.
Orange: The brightest and most fluorescent. However, the more quickly drawn spots are much more faded then slowly drawn sections, giving an overall crappy feel.
Yellow: You heard me. Not that faint, but as dull as it gets among the citrus colors. The fluorescence is completely gone, leaving the ugliest excuse for yellow.
Green: Lost it's fluorescence, and got duller, looks like a grass-colored watercolor stroke. It's the most consistent and fairly impressive in comparison to the losers.
Blue: The most impressive, although the original was not very bright. There is some splotchiness, as if the paper was splattered with a very fine spray of oil and the ink didn't settle well there. The color is darker, but is still the "same" color (didn't get grayish or anything).
Purple: In the same family of pink, it faded pretty badly but not as bad as pink. Still, sections will disappear over time, and unlike pink, the final color is dull and grayish. Like a stormcloud.

Rank (in this "final" state):
1st: Blue
2nd: Green
3rd: Orange
4th: Pink
5th: Purple
6th: Yellow

Interestingly enough, studies show that nice guys do not finish last. They finish 3rd in a field of 6. Much like Orange. I have no idea how the studiers measured niceness or how they decided in which proportions, nice, mean, and intermediate guys exist.

Take All the Goods from All the Bads - Life Road Bumps

"Bads" are inevitable. So are "Goods," and if someone doesn't think so, they're an extreme pessimist, and even then, they're exaggerating.

I don't want to make this a long and obvious post, so I'm mainly bringing it up for thought. Let's say you have an overall fine or wonderful week, and then the Bad comes. During the Bad, no matter how short it is, you can manage to undermine much of the Good, and come close to convincing yourself the Good wasn't worth it. Now if you really thought about this, you know you're being ridiculous, but anger can do some embarrassing things.
After I had a recent bout of this (in my case, the Bad was only about 30 minutes, and it really wasn't threatening the Good, but it lead me to these thoughts), I realized that I don't even remember the Bad, and that the Good completely overwhelmed it and the Good is how I remember the week. I think this might even be true if you have a period of time that is a majority of Bad. Good just seems to be much more powerful.

I was trying to think about this logically. My first thought was that when I have good memories about something that involved both Good and Bad, the reason is that I forgot about and put the Bad aside. My preposition today is that putting the Bad aside is sometimes desired, but not necessary. In fact, I think the Bad only reinforces the Good. When you realize that the Bad was literally nothing compared to the Good, then you realize how good the Good must be.
I would hope that as I go through life, the number of Bad occurances will decrease. This is optimistic. The truth is that as some things get easier or at least more familiar, others will get harder; and in addition, there are always going to be new things dumped on my plate. So, in the optimism that I subscribe to, the Bads should be expected, but the Good can always trump the bad if we let it.

When I look at unhappily married men at work, I am honestly confident that I will never be one of them. But I'm curious how they got there. Did the Bad eventually take up 51% of their marriage and now they write it off as all Bad? Are their Bads really not that overwhelming, but they stopped (or never started) concentrating on the Goods? Or are they lazy and stopped trying to produce more Goods? Did they assume that Goods were supposed to always be natural and not require work?

Take All the Goods from All the Bads - Pain

This is part of a 2-part series. The second part to be released tomorrow. This is a straightforward thought about physical "Bad." Tomorrow's post will be about relationship and emotional "Bad."

I had a sore throat for about a half hour last week. I was pressing on my ear, scratching with my toungue, drinking water, and making weird sounds to relieve the overwhelming pain. During that time I felt so miserable. Probably mostly because I told myself that. Then, before even realizing it, it was over.

Pain, so often, is very temporary. After it's over, you can remember the pain, but it's not like it still hurts you. And in many situations, you can admit it wasn't so bad. I mean, there are some major things you go through that you would say you wouldn't want to do again (like getting teeth knocked out), but the pain itself wasn't that bad, it's just the healing and the uncomfortableness that you don't want to revisit.

I've changed my view of some things, and they're not so bad any more. Here are the two I can think of. Cold. I'll take the dogs out to pee late at night with my shirt off, when it's maybe 30-40 degrees F. If it's cold they'll try to get right back in the house so sometimes you have to keep throwing them out on the grass for maybe 1 or 2 minutes. Your feet can start really hurting (if they're bare), but the cold goes away in under 10 seconds once you get back inside. Skunks. They're not that bad. Just breathe it in. I mean I wouldn't want to lick one. But some people go crazy when they smell a skunk, and I believe it's mostly a trained reaction. And in some cases, so is shivering and letting your teeth chatter in the cold.

Anyway, when I'm going through unpleasant pain or experiences of any kind, I'd like to learn to ignore the bad feelings, or at least try not to react to the bad feeling. I wonder if that would help it to go away quicker, if I wasn't such a wuss about it. Headaches and sore throats seem to go away after you've stopped thinking about them. You know how it usually just suddenly occurs to you that it's gone, and it's been gone for you-don't-know-how-long?

Time to Stop Whining

Okay.
I've whined enough. Now is my chance to help the world. Before giving out false information, I just learned from wikipedia that a Harvard report claimed that computer use did not increase a person's risk of developing carpal tunnel syndrom.

So this isn't that serious. After a couple months of working here, my right wrist started to get a little painful sometimes. Not bad pain, just a minor, nagging one, that would sometimes persist for maybe 20 minutes after stopping on the computer. I started using the mouse with my left hand. Then, I ordered a trackball since I found out work would buy it for me. Although it's no more "mine" than the computers. I wonder how much fuss they would put up if on my last day I just walked out with my computer. No one told me I can't.

Well, my boss just asked me how I liked it since he's having a similar occurrence. I didn't really think about it till now, but I haven't had the same pain since then. That must mean the pain was primarily from the mouse, even though my hands are usually on the keyboard. I probably have felt minor versions mostly from resting my wrists on the edge of the desk.

So according to Harvard, I guess I wasn't at risk for CTS, but any time you feel a consistent pain, it's probably a good thing to try to stop it.

So if you've had similar mouse troubles, try a trackball.

Knowing Your [Load of] Crap

I know "rants" can get tiresome, but this is somewhat related to yesterday's post, so I figured now was the time. Plus I'm inspired.

I called D.O.C. at the mall. The lady who answered said they took my insurance, they would deal with everything (I wouldn't have to mess with any reimbursment crap), and that they could make the glasses within 2 days maybe even sameday if very simple in-stock prescriptions. So Amy and I go to the optometrist at 5:30, get our prescriptions. Couple hours later we go to D.O.C. Right as we step in the entrance, I remember I forgot the prescriptions, so I ask the lady at what looks like the most customer-servicy desk.

She (I'll call her Lady) will NOT listen to me. Three times I said, "I have the prescription at home. I can call home and give you the numbers and then I can just bring in the actual sheets of paper when I pick up the glasses." Three times she uses variations of, "Well how can we make your glasses if we don't have the prescription?" What are customer service reps for if they can't think for themselves? I hate when you call places and they're answer is the equivalent of "I don't know" or "I can't help you." Yes, you CAN help me, but you have to switch your brain from robot mode to free thought.
Luckily, another woman overheard, kindly interrupted the other and said, "Actually, Lady, what we can do is take the order [etc. etc.] and have them fax the prescription tomorrow." Those aren't exact words. She asked if we could fax it tonight or have someone else do it, and I asked if I could just do it this morning.
This was relieving but doubly annoying. First, because Lady should have thought of this herself, and Second, because Lady should have asked someone else instead of pretending she knew what the heck she was talking about.

So we pick out some possible frames, and get another woman to price the whole package for us. She called the insurance company, who, fortunately again, had at least one competent customer service rep. The rep asked to talk to me so he could straighten out that all I did earlier was get an exam, not order glasses. Good thinking. Ask before assuming.

The pricing news is dropped on us. Apparently, "the best insurance" doesn't make up for lunatic pricing. And of course, for driving, we'll "want anti-glare." A $110 option from Dupont. You're kidding me. Listen, why don't I buy a $12 gallon of satin glaze and anti-glare my own glasses for the next century. Well, fortune smiles on us again, and before picking out more frames for more pricing, the woman helping us tells us that it should take roughly a week for the glasses to be processed by our insurance company's lab. And the whole point in hurrying was to get glasses before Disney World (woooo!). In other words, no glasses until at best, next week.

The truth comes out. Fortune was never on our side. I bet it was Lady who told us they could make the glasses there and within 2 days. Lady then appeared to melt through the floor while laughing and shrieking. A red fog lingered for just long enough for us walk out the door, empty handed, with absolutely no leverage to get back at these people for wasting our time.

Man, I hate customer service. In my last post, I mentioned a credit card that had a "no interest" promotion, but we were told it was "no payments and no interest." This eventually led to a hind-quartersload of interest upon interest. I called, sent letters, and each time I was basically ignored, or told to try the opposite method. One letter reply, in response to my request for partial refund, simply said, "Thank you for your request. Your account balance is..."

I seriously wonder if customer service reps are chosen simply for their patience and willingness to help rip people off. Do they go through training in which they are told to stall for several months until the customer quits? I spent so long trying to get a hold of this company to try to get any possible final refunds before paying it off, because I knew if I paid it off, I would never get anything back. By the way, it was Care Credit, through GE Money Bank. Never use Care Credit. Spread the news. Just find a no interest credit card. If we would have known this DIDN'T in fact, have the added benefit of "no payments," it never would have even been an option since the interest rate was absurd. One last important point. The person at fault for this credit card caper? The lady who answers the phone at the dentist's office.

Getting Ripped-Off

I hate it. To combat it, I've been known to search out a bargain. Although, some might think I toe the line of stealing or that I'm more than toeing the line of being cheap. To me, it's just my own form of self-justice. Let me give an example.

Picking apples: One orchard charges every individual who goes into the orchard. If you don't buy a bag for apples, you pay $2 for the "hayride" that takes you 100 feet into the trees and dumps you off. Now I planned on buying apples, so it didn't matter to me, but 4 of the party of 6 (the other 2 being me and my wife) didn't seem like they really wanted to spend any money. So the simple solution is to just walk (or sneak) in. I don't want to take the hayride, so I'll just skip it, and walk out there for free. If I think we might get in trouble, then I consider the punishment. If they caught us, they would just send us back out, or worse yet, tell us to leave, and we'd just go to another orchard. So the "punishment" tells you that the crime isn't that bad, and it's not even bad, it's just against their wishes. Well we got caught. So we bought 2 more bags and took the darned hayride to find out that the apples sucked. I don't even know why I was so nervous, but after a half hour of debating whether or not to pay for the crapples like all the other spineless or easily-pleased customers, I decided to go back in and get our money back, and it worked. This might be a bad example because it's not like we cheated our way in or something. Although we did get a few bellies-full of apples.

My willingness to try to get what I think I deserve, or at least what I paid for, is what (I think) largely contributes to the fact that many people think I'm cheap or even a scoundrel. Just kidding, that's pretty extreme. (Well my wife doesn't think I'm cheap, so that's all that really counts. She wants me to get a deal, but not in front of her.) What I do is really no different than downloading movies or music illegally. Usually, when people do that, even though they know it's wrong on some level, have several ways to justify it. It's just that a lot of people who download don't do more out-in-the-open stuff like I have. This post is kind of annoying me too, partly because I don't do THAT much cheap stuff anymore like I did in high school/college, but I'm writing about it because I hate the reputation I have, when I don't think I've done any more wrong or been any cheaper than anyone else.

The whole point is that I abhor being ripped off, and I'm done with it. But what sucks is you can't get around it, or at least it's inefficient. Here are a few examples.
*A $60 pair of nice black express pants, a tad bit shiny, go dull and shrink more than any other pair of pants I've ever had. Now they're short and fading, after just a few washes. Haven't warn them in a year.
*20% off on some house decoration stuff from Meijer. Didn't get the discount, paid $2 more than I though. No big deal but annoying.
*$6 off when you buy 4 boxes of chex, the sign's in front of frosted chex, but doesn't apply. Have to go back to the store, return the old and buy the new to get my dang $6.
*Broken patio table from Kroger. Thought it was a good deal. Warranty? don't know yet.
*$75 hair dye job for Amy. Light brown comes out darker brown than her natural color. BS. Said they would call back when I called to complain.
*$60 Up-do for Amy. She gave the lady a picture and the outcome was nothing even close.
*Several more hair stories. Not a penny back.
*Bought Oakland Press for $28 to help some kid out and got a "free" Entertainment coupon book 2 months before expiration. Move out of apartment 3 weeks later, cancel paper, get $4 refund b/c of the dang book, which at that time was being given away at my work.
*$90 electric bill for apartment for the month when we weren't even there and everything unplugged.
*Manager at salvation army can't lower price on 20 year old TV cabinet, buy it anyway, go pick it up the next day and furniture is 25% off. (that's not so bad since they're nonprofit)
*buy a car for $2500, head gasket goes 2 months later, could be coincidental, could be that the guy who sold the car and his brother who rebuilt it are both jack-idiots. (Brother-in-law on phone says, "You might be able to make it home." Fails to mention, "You might melt the engine off." Result=$1000 rather than $300)
*buy two "working" vacuum cleaners for $50. Neither works. Fixing ended up being possible, but still a little annoying. Why can't you ever just get what you were promised!
*Orthodontists office said "no payments or interest for a year" when it was actually just "no interest." Hundreds of extra dollars later...

How much money do we throw away being ripped off by this kind of crap. What pisses me off is that it takes so much energy and time to deal with it. And is it worth it to call the hair place, drive out there, get it redone, or get products to compensate, or anything. If you screw up my hair, don't just offer to fix it. I've already wasted $75 and 2 hours, now I'm going to waste an hour on the phone and 2 hours getting there and getting it redone--more time to have you fix what you'll probably mess up again. No, I want my money back. And if you really want to redo my hair to save your reputation, then I want my money back and I'll LET you redo my hair!

Cow-peesh?

But if you do that, and say it in that tone, they'll think you're a jerk, and you'll be one of those 50 year olds who sit on the phone all day at work complaining to the company they bought their 30 inch LCD from. But I guess they're completely justified, they've been dealing with this for a couple decades more than me.

Dominant People

At the end of the last post, I considered continuing, but I decided to break this off into a new one. My question was going to be about the people that I can completely deal with, as a matter of fact I can usually honestly say I love them, in a friend-loving way, BUT they seem to think that there is or was a rift between us. That's kind of frustrating because I think to myself, "well you and i have traits that cause us to clash a bit, but I can get past that." But when they assume this rift, it's as if they're saying the same thing, except they CAN'T get past it, which could mean there's something wrong with ME! But what is it?

Let's delve. There are personality tests, and I'll use 2 different ones just in case anyone is familiar with either.
REVIEW:
There are 4 basic personality traits, and people have some degree of all 4. BUT, what decides their personality are the dominant traits. So here are the 4 (I'm not going really deep into this, so you can assume/imagine the rest)
Extroverted:
DOMINANT, lion, my way
INFLUENCE, otter, fun way
Introverted:
STABILITY, golden retreiver, easy way
COMPLIANCE, beaver, right way

I'm going to refer to these as D, I, S, and C, since those are the shortest. I took this test in high school and was and I and an S (with the first one listed, I, being the most dominant trait). Jason, I believe, and I would guess, is a D and a C. Chris, I would guess, is a pretty close race between S and I, with some C in there right before D at the bottom.

The tension between myself and those described in the 2nd sentence of this post is due, I think, to a simple personality difference. Let me use specific examples, keeping in mind that I like both of these people tremendously. Both of these people have specifically pointed out or shown by example or I heard through the grapevine that "we haven't always gotten along."

1.) A.J. has very extroverted characteristics. I would guess D and I are his top 2. I am also extroverted, but my I is very high and my D is pretty low. I think, "We can get along, we just could eventually get on each other's nerves if together for too long." He probably thinks close to the same thing, but I have a feeling his dominant D makes him deep down think, "there's not enough room in this town for the both of us."

2.) Laura Hal. is also a D. I guess I didn't need two separate sections, huh?

So, in summary, two extroverted people, particularly if at least one is a D, have a much higher tendency of clashing since they're often strong-willed, thick-headed, and crazy. That's why many couples naturally turn out to be a mix of extro- and introverts. For example, Jason (straight out of the lion's den) and Jessica (such a S-weetie), Adam (can act extro- but is technically intro-, an S to be exact) and Laura ( extro-), Shawn and Amy.

Interesting and personal side-note: introverts can be together, but one of them has to be able to take the extroverted position sometimes. For this reason, Shawn and Amy works better than Jon and Amy. At least 16-year-old Jon, BUT THERE AIN'T NO SECOND CHANCES IN THIS GAME, BABY!!!

For some reason, Jason and I don't clash. Not that we haven't ever, but it was never long-lasting. Maybe it's because subconsciously, we know we both have extroverted/dominant characteristics, so we choose to never compete for the same position. For example, we don't cowrite a blog, because that's not natural for us. We've had leadership questions before, but there were clear delineations between positions and it ended up working fine. Once I had to submit to Jason regarding something at camp since he was head counselor, I can't remember the issue. In a different leadership position that we were forced to somewhat share, Jason decided to concede leadership to me to avoid confrontation.

J and AJ may have band related clashes, naturally and predictably. Jon could have band issues with Dan and the rest of the band, but as an introvert, Jon would bring the issue to someone else instead of actually speaking with Dan.

I always used to be able to show my true "I" to family and even some people in grade/junior high school, unless they were too cool. When I hung around with certain people, though, my "I" was completely snuffed. All these people were very strong D or I, while I was just a fresh social "I." There was Josh M, AJ, Joe V, Drew S, Dan Z, etc. You could not even get a word out without one of these guys making a joke over you. I have never stopped being intimidated by Josh M, probably because I haven't seen him for a few years. When you're around him, he's just so extraordinarilly confident and ADHD (and admittedly, funny), that I could never shake the feeling that nothing I said was funny enough, or at least he was ready to jump in and take over again.

I think this kind of psychology is interesting. Was I destined to turn out the way I did? What if I just never hung out with those kids again? Would my personality finally find its way out in a different circle of friends? Would it be the same?

Actually, my personality didn't find its way out in that circle of friends. It was with other friends, my best friend was always someone less dominant than me. Interesting. Then, after I was a little more confident, I could mingle in the other circle, but without ever really feeling a confident equal until a couple years ago.

Please share your experience and thoughts.

Dramatic People

I don't get along with dramatic people. I just figured it out. It's not that I don't like them or that they don't like me. And it doesn't mean I can't handle them as friends. But for some reason I just can't click with them the way I do with other people.

I can go through a list of all the people I don't "click" with and can find some level of dramaticism in most of them. Here are the different classes of these people, in no particular order or rank:
-Annoying
-Can talk to but prefer not to hang out with
-Can hang out with but prefer not to talk to
-Can talk and hang out, but with extra effort on my part
-Don't get/serious reaction to sarcasm
-Can't give or receive criticism without being extremely defensive or offensive
-Perfectly nice person, I just don't really have a desire to get closer

Now, I should say here, although this is such a cliche, that I am not without fault. And if someone who I consider dramatic could tell me some quality about myself which causes them not to click with me, I would be thrilled to find out!
Some philosopher said something, and since I don't remember the exact words (and since the exact words were probably greek or latin anyway), here is my version:
When someone criticizes you or points out your fault, respond by saying, "If you knew of my other faults, you wouldn't only point out this one!"

This seems to be similar to "heaping burning coals" on someone's head. My view: be comfortable with your own faults, but if you find something you think you should change, change it, and try not to always use defensive excuses.

I annoy myself sometimes, and I think everyone is annoyed with me sometimes (hopefully not all at once, I'm just saying we all have personality traits that clash with others'). I'm assuming everyone could find something annoying about themselves or about most other people. This isn't a bad thing, except I guess, if you're always gossiping and can't get past those characteristics. I mean, the people you love, everyone, including your same- and opposite- sex friends/relatives, have probably annoyed you at some [or several] time[s], but you love them--it's just part of them. That doesn't define them.

I used to worry more about being annoying, because who wants to be annoying? I guess now I'm comfortable with myself because let's face it, most of my characteristics are pretty much defined for life. I think what put my worrying to death is finding my wife. From the very beginning, I liked her a lot, and vice versa. And once you find out someone likes you like that, you know you can't be too bad.

As far as being annoying to friends, well, I guess the same is true. If you have any friends at all, you can't be too bad. And if they really want to pick on something annoying about me, well I can probably return the favor. But since we all know we're not perfect, we can all agree to call it even. Like Chandler and Monica.

Here is the food for my thought. See next post...